Puck's Humor

Tape Recorded

Have you gone off your Pucker? Wise up, Pucker! He’s not a good case. What’s your name, babe? Pucky, we’re older than they look. Mom, bring out the bird. Okay, what you staring at, Cam? You’re like white lightning. Me delicate. You can’t even describe the problem. Not at this point. Parakeets are the best. Guilty that’s you! Bless you, Pucker. He’s part Puckeroo. Cami, come take Penny Penguin. You want me to punch your head? Would you go on your perch for mommy? She taught me so good. Mister Puck You want your cutie pie? You’re gonna change this cellar brain? You want password? Here we are. Okay, pop up! I love this line, little Pucker. We always good boy. Oh, person to show paper to! Holy boy! Double-cross bird. You’re off limit! Mommy, get out of here! I’m spoiled. Okay, it’s virtually done now. Mark, I’m so pure. You want little fight? Wait in the shower tonight. Your cat’s here. Your father’s the same way. You wimp. Come on, get off your cheek! Captain Pucker. I lie to you, patty bird. Dream on, bird.	He addressed the parrot, see? Did you miss your appointment, Puck? Oh, parrot bird, you’re important! May I see your card? You’re up the system! You screw up too long. He had the penny paid for. I treat to lunch this time. It’s exactly telling me the part. It’s a true good story. Don’t they love my study of Puckeroo? Puck’s a microchip. Uncle Mark, don’t shoot! I’d like to scratch you. Oh, it stunk! Brain sour. Oh, lover, you’re gonna cover your Puck! I’m in training. Oh, humans! Mark took my heart. Crystal mirror. Hold on, squirt! Oh, I love the sheen. I’m the talker. I’m so talented. The Puck has the big birdie. Pucky’s acting intelligent. You talk long enough! Jackal, don’t you be looking at my book! We’re being real popular at swimming pool. In the future, in the brink. Wanna Pagliacci? Puck don’t want to fight! I fight a big war. You’re so tiny it’s hysterical! You wanna play football? It’s radical weird. Oh, Pucky, Pucky, he had the lovebug. Mom, I’m retired. I’m downtown Pucky. I’m cute.	He’s so cultural. I want charge card! He’s a senior parakeet. Here we are. Again. Give back the parrot. Where’s my stick? We interrupt to say Bobby bird! They lied to beetle. You must spare her like a mother. I’m in terror! Let’s be paired. Can I play with you? Wow, Pucky, it’s a jackpot! You can’t be good and bad. You be good person. Did you find what you want, birdie? That’s the first thing I like. Yummy. Oh, I’m so glad you come. You stop in? I love your mind. He’s got celery brain. You have to locate somebody, see? Bless you, bird. That bird don’t talk. I’m gonna keep this one, bird. Mom, would you turn off Puck? What you doing in the dark? I’m super parrot! Tell her you’re a real bird. I don’t want to go to bed! Wake up on your cage! I would have sworn it’s a miracle! Don’t waste words! No, you’re not good bird! You are a dumb bird. I love your cage! Silly bird! Captain, he’s a penguin. Oh look, Puckeroo, here some work that you could copy. Up your Pucky! Fancy Pucky wants you. Got you! I love that kind of bird. I taught school, donut bird!

Humor Heard by Observers (untaped)

You can talk and everything. I’m supposed to stay up front. My name’s Puck. I’m a bird. Don’t be simple! That’s a good answer. Wake up, people! Go get wise now. Don’t get technical. My bird’s smart. Here’s the proof. You could pick up a wolf. Ever flown? These are my toes. Talk with your tongue. Heartsick, wow! I love your toenail. You’re totally backward. I’ve been to school. I’m happy. Are you happy?	How come you’re talking so logical? It’s coming from the telephone! We have got to go backwards. How many have you got? Two of them. I am able to whisper. No, let’s cut therapy. You are talking to a bird! I want to talk to you some more. What’s you got on the paper? You know me. I’m Puck! Yeah, baby. Here we go! Oh, I think you know. I swallowed it - - poof! You are a nice little bird. Talk freely. Be my parakeet. If you talk, I’ll give you a present. He’s a bad parakeet.	He’s a good bird. I love bird. Sweetheart bird. You, fox, you. You’re a really great parakeet! I know that I am. What a pumpkin! At least you get a bathroom. Tune in and move things forward! That’s okay with me, parakeet Pete. Aren’t we glad we met? One of the few things that are real okay. You ought to take that stick and poke. Jailbird. Can’t zip it up. I’m a Type A. You’ve got to be a responsible bird. Pucky, I’m a bird inside but I always wanted to be a cricket.

Humor Heard by Me (untaped)

You’re pretty cool, kid.

That’s unthinkable, bird.

Active, what a brain!

Mommy, come check Pucky.

Talking back and forth.

Oh, Pucky, I’m worried about you.

He wouldn’t think. I wouldn’t think.

I make good report.

Beetlebug cannot wait.

Put out your signal, here I come!

I know it’s insulting.

Pucky a pain in the neck!

You gotta believe me.

We have to speed up.

Beetlebug, you’re unbeatable!

The subject is staying away.

Don’t comment till you see her.

Blows your heart!

Tone up.

You want to tell me what you’re bringing?

Look, there’s smoke!

Face the rear!

I can irritate you.

I think he’s bigger ‘n me.

Did you spoil your copy?

I’m complicated.

We work backward and it’s totally real.

I love thee.

I become the top parrot.

Did you forgive him, Mister Puck?

It’s spelled backward now, Puck.

It’s the beetle blanket.

You find that daffy?

You’re slippery.

There’s a boat. Where did they tow it from?

He’s a decent bird.

He’s a talented genius bird.

There’s got to be a reason for his talking!

Think a five-percent dollar, bird.

You don’t want to get cancelled now, do you?

You obey on your life!

He likes those ripple things.

Pucky’s a tradition.

And you obey and go on your bicycle.

They’re threatening me with beetle!

I don’t wanna shoot forward.

Come and join me playing.

Speak up, lovebird.

The captain forbid it.

He’s had a real tough delay.

I’ve gotta do my homework.

You’re off your mind!

That’s a bird in the dark.

I saw it in the bird book.

Tortilla squirt.

He’s a bird but I’m a person.

I know I talk too much.